1. Grocery shop the day before
There’s nothing worse than coming home to an empty fridge in search of nutrition and rehydration. Stock up on lots of fresh fruit, cut up oranges into quarters and freeze them along with the icy poles and frozen potato wedges. You’ve ignored carbs for weeks in order to get ripped, after the party, it’s time to refuel and say hello again to pasta.
2. Wear ‘in’ your underwear
Whatever you do don’t buy new underwear to wear on Mardi Gras night without at least one wash and wear before the party. I wore 2xist, the wonderbra for boys bits to my very first party. With everything going up and down for hours on end, I was gasping for air on the long walk home, suffering from blue balls for days.
3. Manscape at the beginning of the week.
No one wants to see unsightly ingrown hairs popping up like measles on the big night especially if you’re going to wax or use depilatory creams for the very first time, do it early and time it well. Clippering is always the safest option, at least if you make a drastic mistake while texting, there will be a few days for it to grow back, but only if you’ve done it early enough!
4. Wear gloves when self tanning.
There’s nothing worse than a convincing tan until your slightly orange palms and rings of residue around your wrists and at Mardi Gras the height of hand animation, there’s no hiding them. My final beauty advice would be to moisturise your hands, wear gloves or at least use a tanning mit.
5. Plan your spending
You’ve already spent a lot of money getting to the big night and nothing could be more disastrous than spending next weeks rent while partying. ATM ques can be pretty boring, waiting while everyone is having fun. I always chuck a $50 note in my shoe ready for early morning emergency spends, but the best surprise is finding the shifty fifty that you didn’t end up spending in the bedroom aftermath sometime over the following day or two.
6. Be in the parade
It’s the best way to get to the party, be the centre of attention while walking the golden mile to get to the centre of the festivities. If you don’t want to be on TV, next year volunteer as a parade marshall for an up close point of view, help drag queens hobble, rescue glittered polystyrene props or pushing broken down floats up hill is the best fun while saying ‘Happy Mardi Gras’ to everyone and I mean everyone.
7. Be a Cinderella the night before
As tempting as it may be, make sure you’re home asleep in bed by midnight the night before. Sleep is your friend even for the most chronic of FOMO sufferers. You want to look your absolute best in social pics, no baggy eyes, yawning chops and tired lines. You need as much energy as possible, you’re basically going to be on your feet for the next twenty-four hours so rest up, enjoy the rest.
8. Look after your friends
No matter how many times you loose your mates at the party or find them again in states of disarray, take the time to go for a wander with them, have a dance or a bathroom stop to freshen up. Reuniting with friends is an exciting catch up, especially if you find them in the early hours of the morning wrapped around their own Mr Universe.
9. Say hi to your ex
You’re bound to run into endless ex boyfriends, past lovers and Grindr hook ups, so instead of the snub say ‘Happy Mardi Gras’ this can be a fabulously rewarding moment as your looking your very best and they’re going to wish the never left you or left their current boyfriend to be with you. You’re going to have to say hi as you’re likely to run into them in the Horden, then the Dome and then again in the RHI!
10. Get up front to watch the show
Make sure you know the show times, you don’t want to miss a moment of explosive glitter and sequins paraded by your favourite famous starlet and multiple muscled dancers wearing very little. You want to catch their eye with mutual Mardi Gras love. But make sure you take a hand fan, it gets very hot down front.