Growing Out Of Your Twinkdom

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The twink movement remains the most reliable source of self-expression of coming out for gay guys fewer than twenty-five. To qualify as a true twink, age doesn’t normally disqualify, but you should preferably be of short stature, compact and petite, smooth, tanned and possess an awesome bubble butt on display and twerk along to Anaconda.

Don’t dismiss that all twinks are pure bottoms, majority are too young and timid to venture to master the art of ‘taking it’. Some are fantastically hung dominators, they can be memorable for their outer packaging, not so much their inner depth or sexual experience. Ultimately for the twink, it’s all about the hair, the fashion and now in 2015 it’s the make-up, redefining those boyhood features that only another gbf or girlfriend with a ‘u’ would truly appreciate.

Derived from porn fantasy in the 1970’s, the twink is an evolving archetype with traits of Christopher Robin, Pinocchio and Peter Pan; he’s the boy who never grows up.

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But what happens when a twink does grow up physically and matures out of his Twinkdom?

His voice deepens, his body mass widens and his Tresemme locks thin to oblivion. The transition may be dramatically quick or ever so gradual over time based on genetics, smoking status, sleep deprivation, poor nutrition and substance abuse. A dramatic transitioning twink should quickly pack his bags and leave for a timely exit on a prolonged interstate holiday or relocate overseas, work in a dark call centre on the other side of the world while gravity does its thing. Alternatively he could just join the gym, wear more dark colours and no horizontal stripes, stop smoking, sleep in, eat healthily and drink a lot less.

The phase out of Twinkdom is like reliving puberty, it’s awkward and sometimes slightly embarrassing, but don’t despair, find a mature fairy godfather to help you join the ranks of masculinity and make your biological father proud now that you’re a man. Become the Sydney Swan who you always aspired to sleep with and leave those ugly ducking years behind as just tagged Instagram memories.

With no regrets, acknowledge and smartly say goodbye to your Twinkdom!